it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
