i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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