he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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