she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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