So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
