Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
