Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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