i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize