It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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