I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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