You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
