First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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