Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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