she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
