I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
