we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
