I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You know, be my cock's hype man.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
