FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
