I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Hippo gnu deer
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
