walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
