can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Randomize
