I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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