I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Randomize
