It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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