This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
