I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
