I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
