Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
