I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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