We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
