The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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