Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
