i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
