Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
