We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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