No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
