Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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