I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
