do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
