I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
