Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Apparently you make a good broom.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
