People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
