did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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