My liver just broke up with me...
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
