And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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