the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
She told me I should be a condom model.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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