Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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