I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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