loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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