You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
