Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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