And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
