Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
