What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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