do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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