I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
