Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He passed out mid-signature
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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