I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
