Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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