What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
