I hate all girls vehemently.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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