I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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