Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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