We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
