so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
this will be a night to untag.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
