How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
