TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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