...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize
