TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
